huey_tsai: (nino half top)
huey_tsai ([personal profile] huey_tsai) wrote2011-04-23 03:24 pm
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Hmm. Should I still...?

I haven't been feeling well for the past month. And no, this isn't just an emotional kind of thing. It's about my health. I've been getting some kind of illness, one after the other. It's a bad year for me isn't it?

Anyways. My summer is quite boring. I've already graduated high school about a month ago. It still hasn't quite sunk in. Haven't gone out with my friends, I don't work (except doing small errands for my parents), I just eat, sleep and use the computer. What a sad life! :O

Anyways, I have too much pent up frustration and I'm trying to revive my LJ and use it to vent my emotions. Wow. But, I'm not used to spilling everything. Every single emotion I'm feeling right now. D: I have too much problems, things that I'm told to not think about and such. D: But I can't.

I have friends, best friends at that. But why do I feel like I'm not part of them at all? They talk to each other all the time, but, nothing reaches me at all. Why do I feel like I'm always the one trying to reach them instead of them actually wanting to talk to me? Am I such a boring person? Is there something wrong with me? Am I just a bad influence? A third, fourth, fifth wheel? I've never actually felt like they even tried to understand me.

Maybe it really is better to always have another set of friends. *sighs*

[identity profile] 2011-04-24 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
I feel exactly the same. ): I haven't done anything significant this summer except travel and stay at home and bury myself on the bed or on the laptop until the wee hours of the morning.

And about that illness, I think at one point the same thing happened to me before (like around 3rd Year? something about being too acidic because of my emotions), and eventually I was told to confide my feelings in people I could trust (like parents, friends, whatever) to make everything feel less... burdensome, I guess. I think you should try the same, before something worse happens.

The whole thing with friends is something I also went through (or maybe I still am right now). It sucks to sit and realize how I haven't gone out with them these past few weeks and in the end learn how they've been going out with each other and not inviting me. :| Hindi naman sa bitter, pero, masakit lang isipin.

D: We're in the same boat. /hugs

[identity profile] 2011-04-24 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)

Nothing significant for me to attend to... as you can see, I just came home earlier this evening and yet, I'm still here on the computer, at 4:30 in the morning. Surprise, surprise. :))

Ohmy, I'm acidic. Our emotions affect our acidity? :O No way. Then, that's probably the reason why. I keep everything to myself, if not, I only share things that aren't 'too deep', if you know what I mean. I have no one to confide to, well except LJ, I guess. My parents and I were never on good terms, I'm not close to them at all. My mom and I fight all the time. My brothers and I aren't close as well. D: And, it's impossible for me to share every single thing to my friends seeing that my problem are my friends! D: I have a sad life, I have no one. :|

Hindi nga naman talaga sa bitter, masakit lang isipin talaga. My friends haven't gone out behind my back, (hopefully), but I just feel so sad that they haven't even taken the first step to actually talk to me, pero lagi silang nag-uusap. Kailangan bang habulin ko sila lagi? D: